Tell Me You Own Me
by BunnieBunnie
Summary: Ren missed his chance with Nana & she ended up with Yasu. Nana loves Yasu yet every night she runs to Ren. It was sinful, a cruel betrayal but every time she ran to him Ren threw his friendship aside Ren/Nana some Yasu/Nana
1. Kiss Me

**I'm horrible. I'm terrible and neglectful of my other stories, each of which has a new chapter started and abandoned because all I want to do is write about cheating. I really must give Yasu a happy ending in a story, I abuse him so. **

**I do not own Nana or any of her lovely people. **

Slapping down another empty beer can Ren slumped over the table. Tonight was the night he was going to confess to Nana. It was his plan to take her home and let her know how much he loved her. If only he hadn't let his nerves get in the way.

It was one split second of doubt and he had missed his chance. Instead of going for it and kissing her, he sat still while she tasted the cake with a shrug. He walked her home and distracted by the disappointment of missing his chance he missed another one.

"She was standing there waiting for me to kiss her. Her eyes were begging, _'kiss me you idiot,'_ but I said _'good night, see you at band practice.'_ I'm an idiot." Nobu pat him on the head not sure what else he could do about this. If Yasu didn't have to get up so early in the morning Ren would be crying to him tonight.

"She likes you. Next time don't think about it, swoop in and kiss her. I'm pretty sure she won't hit you or call you a perverted bastard." Nobu joked but quickly mended his error by opening another beer and placing it in Ren's hand. Ren gave a pitiful thanks before chugging the contents of the can.

"I could go now. She's not asleep yet, I'll go knock on her door and when she opens it I'm gonna fuck her." Nobu cringed not thinking it best for Ren to barge in drunk at two in the morning and demanding sex.

"Start with a kiss Ren. This is Nana, she's important to me. I might not be very strong compared to you but if you hurt her I'll kill you."

Ren laughed at that joke and began to head back to Nana's place. This was going to work out fine, Nana would open the door. He'd press his lips to hers and tell her he wanted her. Nothing was going to keep him apart from her for one more day. Nothing except the image of his best friend, who was too busy to listen to him whine, kissing Nana in her doorway. In his mind he convinced himself Yasu had no idea how he felt for her. The painfully obvious favoritism he showed her had been lost on the baldy. There was no way he could know Ren loved her and still take her for himself. That's what Ren needed to believe but the crushing pain in his heart told the truth. Yasu was too infatuated to care that he was breaking Ren's heart. He lost his dream girl and was betrayed by his best friend in one instant.

**This is a Ren/Nana fic sorry Yasu but that kiss is as far your getting. Probably, maybe. **


	2. The Girl of My Best Friend

Shifting their eyes Nana and Ren glared at each other from across the table. Their double date had turned into a battle. Yasu nervously sat beside Nana, having long ago given up any thought of controlling her temper. Ren's date sighed at the lack of attention she was receiving from him. Her breasts on display and her legs bared she thought she was hot.

That was until she saw the other woman on this date up close. Even she had been momentarily transfixed by the sexy vocalist. The confidence that Nana exuded and the charming way she welcomed them drew the tall bimbo in. She was even more in love with Blast than before. If only Ren and Nana could stop fighting long enough for them to order food.

"With tofu," Nana declared to the waitress cringing away from the table.

"With out tofu. I want plain miso." They had been fighting over what Ren would eat for thirty minutes now. Before that it had taken twenty for Ren to get Nana to order Gyudon for herself.

Used to them having pointless spats over what the other one would eat Yasu had placed his order over the phone before they arrived at the restaurant. If he had known Ren's date would stay past the initial introduction to Nana he would have ordered more. His girlfriend wasn't normally so hospitable towards Ren's girls.

Taking pity on the forgotten girl seated next to Ren, Yasu cut into their argument. "Get both this time and I'll pay for you."

"And waste a perfectly good soup?" Outraged Nana, "he'll eat the one he wants and leave the other to be dumped."

"True," Yasu agreed but then gestured to the busty brunette across from him. "His date might also like to eat though."

Sickened by the reminder Nana eyed the woman she had seen draped all over Ren after a few live performances. She wasn't as bad as the trashy girls he had dated before so Nana overlooked it but she still didn't like it. At least this one didn't spend the night sneering at her and mauling Ren.

Plus she was sort of pretty.

"That's right, Michi, I'm so sorry you had to see this idiot acting so much like a little boy. He won't eat tofu since I informed him of how nutritious it is." Nana forced a smile and nodded to the waitress, "tofu."

"Her name's Hinata." Ren corrected, "you're so stupid. How do you confuse Michi for Hinata?"

It was his dates turn to be outraged, "my name is Umeko!" She stood up to glare down at him.

Nana struggled to hold in her laughter at his mistake. She bent over holding her hand over her mouth as Umeko stormed out. Relieved that she finally left Ren turned his gaze back to Nana trying to think of another fight to pick. As long as he had a reason to look at her face he didn't care if she smiled back at him or forced him into a scowl with her own angry face.

"Hey waitress I want mochi." Nana called to the frazzled waitress.

"She's wants ichigo daifuku," Ren chimed in holding the menu out to show her.

"Oh yes please I want that but I still want mochi," a phone ringing reminded them Yasu was there.

"That's work. Order what you want Nana it's on me." He said standing up to leave. "Make sure my girl gets home safe Ren." Kissing Nana on the lips he said his goodbyes and left the two bickering friends alone.

The chaste almost nonexistent kiss left Nana with a light blush and filled Ren with bitter jealousy. If it were him, he wouldn't be able to pull away from those lips. He wondered if they tasted like strawberry and cigarettes. He could make her color a brighter red than that with out trying.

Their food arrived and they silently ate off of each others plates. The tension between them was palpable as they left the restaurant and Ren began to walk in the direction of Yasu and Nana's shared apartment.

"Ren," she stopped him with a hand placed on his wrist. The thought of going home to an empty apartment again pissed her off. Yasu was always working or studying or too busy. "Can I stay at your place tonight?"

It wasn't like it'd be the first time she staid the night. Last time they had Nobu there to control the internal desires. How could he resist those pleading eyes though? It was sleeping, he wouldn't be tempted if they were both asleep.


	3. Standing in Front of You

It amazed him how wrong he was. Being the nice guy he was, he had offered her the use of his bath, he kicked himself for not thinking that one through. Now she was standing there dripping wet, in a towel and he hoped panties, asking to borrow a shirt to wear to bed.

"Earth to Ren," she was walking to him in that thin towel. His eyes trailed down her body following the drops of water that traveled under the towel. "Hey can I borrow a shirt or I'll have to sleep naked."

"No!" If Yasu were in his place he'd be calm and behave himself. Ren had to remind himself of how good his friend has been to him all these years. "I have shirts. Take whichever one you like. I will go shower now."

Sighing as he ran from her Nana was irked by his behavior. She had seen him staring at her from the first day she joined his band. Constantly he stole her cigarette right from her mouth and flirted when Yasu wasn't around. They spent more time with each other than anyone else and she knew he at least found her physically attractive. If he wasn't in love with her she could settle for being used for sex.

Sure she loved Yasu, or at least she thought she did. It felt safe to be with him and made her happy to make him happy. He was good and sweet and she liked kissing him. That's as far as their relationship got though, they kissed. He came over one night and kissed her. A week later when Ren was making out with some random skank after a live, she pulled Yasu aside to talk. They started dating then and soon she moved in. He was always doing something important and too respectful of her to move their relationship further. Which was fine with her since it wasn't him she fantasized about.

"I'm a bad person," she sighed to herself. "He's the one who won't touch me." If Yasu didn't want to touch her fine, why was he dating her? Ren fucked anything with a pulse and a vagina so why was he so prudent around her?

Thinking about it made her mad. She pushed her thoughts away and rummaged through his clothes to find one of his shirts to confiscate. If he thought he was getting it back he didn't know her very well.

After his cold shower he stepped over to the bed he knew she had claimed. He had intended to take a pillow so he could sleep on the spare futon but she caught his arm. Convinced of her plot to get him killed he gave in to her demanding tugs for him to join her.

It was just sleep, he reminded himself. There was no way she had an inkling of how much he wanted her. If she did she would run straight home and never be alone with him again. This wasn't a seduction technique, she was just lonely and they were friends. He excused the provocative way she lied down as his imagination. Told himself she was naïve and trusting.

She was Yasu's girl and all the longing he thought he saw in her eyes was just his fantasy. With that thought in his head he crawled in to bed with her and lie down close enough to smell her but not too close. If Yasu walked in this would be acceptable, like siblings sharing a bed. Like family, that thought hurt more than it helped.

Her warmth was so close and yet so damn far away. A long night with his weakness inches from his finger tips. If she asked to spend the night again and Nobu wasn't staying as well he'd drag her to her place and ditch her there. If only he could get through this night with out doing anything stupid.

It was an unfortunate occurrence that when he finally got himself calm enough to drift off to sleep he was woken up. Sharp waves of pleasure had him gasping awake. Sometime during sleep she had stirred closer to him. Her left leg was draped over him and rubbing an area of him that seemed more sensitive than normal.

"Shit," instinctively his hand found her hips and lured them over his so she was straddling him. He berated himself for it but could not gain control of his body. "Why would you do that? She isn't yours to, mmmm," with out thinking he had positioned her warm core over his hardening penis. Hiking up the shirt she wore he rubbed her back making her purr in her sleep.

"Stop," he commanded himself rolling them over and setting her gently on the bed. Her eyes squeezed tight before opening to look at him confused. He covered them, "go back to sleep. I promise you're safe." Even the feeling of her thick long lashes fluttering shut against his hand turned him on.

He extracted himself from the bed watching her whimper and curl into herself. The loss of her heat upset him so much he wanted to hate Yasu.

"I need a smoke." Nana tossed in the bed searching for his warmth. A rush of longing moved him to the edge of the bed next to her. "If she keeps this up I'll need something stronger than a cigarette. Damn it Yasu stop leaving her alone."

Resolved to be a good boy he turned up the heat and brought out another blanket for himself. He covered her with all the covers on the bed and settled down on top of them. The night passed with him rigidly lying awake watching her sleep.

**No sex No sex No sex for you,Ren. My fingers are actually itching to right a lemon, it's embarrassing. **


	4. Always On My Mind

Stretching out on her bed Nana closed her eyes as her boyfriend rubbed her back. She purred arching into his hands that kneaded muscles sore from work.

"Oh right there mmhhmm," her moans drew the attention of the other two males in the room.

"I think we should give them some privacy." Nobu suggested to Ren discreetly.

The idea didn't appeal to Ren at all. He tried to strum his guitar as Nobu and him wrote music but all he could do was glare at the happy couple. A surge of jealousy caused his music to come out harsh and off beat. He was aware that Nobu had noticed his discomfort and was trying to save him from watching them.

"Yeah," Ren agreed putting away his guitar. Yasu nodded to them as they left but Nana didn't acknowledge them at all.

It had been months since she had slept over and neither of them brought up the incident when he'd woken her. He thought that maybe she didn't remember or she just didn't want to talk about awkward things. Either way she hadn't asked to spend the night again. There wasn't even the weekly invitation to dinner, 'because Yasu worries about you,' was always her excuse. He wanted to ask if she worried as well, even just a little.

Hearing another massage induced moan he cringed on his way out. He could spend all day wondering why he couldn't stop feeling the way he did for her. No answers would come to him and no solutions for the resentment he felt for Yasu ever arose either. His only refuge was Tokyo, getting as far from her as possible was best for everybody.

Nana was pissed. He had started this band and now he announced today that he's quitting. Going off to play music for some other girl. If he were her boyfriend she'd have a right to hate him, but he wasn't. It was too bad because she wanted to hate him.

She felt betrayed and abandoned but she could think of no reason to feel anything past worry over finding a new band member. It made sense to miss him as a friend and that was all she was permitted to express in front of others. It didn't help that she kept having that dream of him hovering over her in bed. The same dream she had dreamed when she spent the night at his place. It haunted her every night she was left to sleep alone. Yasu didn't run off all that often but he was a workaholic and rarely came home for supper.

They had yet to have sex and that irked her. He initiated things all the time. There was no doubt he wanted her and she couldn't deny wanting him but it seemed something interrupted them every time. Not this time she had decided. Tonight her boyfriend would take her virginity whether he wanted to or not.

As soon as Ren and Nobu were gone she sat up halting her massage. Slowly she unbuttoned her red shirt revealing her black and red bra to Yasu. A coy smile turned up her lips as she leaned up to kiss his bottom lip. Taking his hands she brought them up to her covered breasts. He gave a squeeze causing Nana to emit a laugh before releasing his hands to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him. Yasu marveled at the softness beneath his fingers, kneading and stimulating her through the thin fabric.

His mouth was warm and inviting, his hands large and skilled. Still gripping at his bald head was distracting. Maybe because for a moment she forgot he wasn't Ren. How would it feel to be in the arms of that infuriating man? In her dreams it always burned white hot to kiss him. She felt as if she were dying when she touched him, then she would wake up to Yasu coming home.

Her head hurt and she wanted to cry, frustrated and angry at herself. Here she had a great guy who cared about her. He took her out on dinner dates once a week and bought her nice things. He let her live with him for free. But those were all financial things she realized, feeling him slip his hands under her bra. She felt shallow, as if she were with him only because he took care of her.

Shaking her thoughts away she reached behind herself to remove the offending material encasing her breasts. She ran her hands over his chest making quick work of the buttons on his shirt to get to the flesh beneath. It wasn't right for her to be thinking of another man when Yasu was so perfect. He was smart, she reminded herself, and generous and sweet. He didn't buy her things because she asked for them but because he wanted to show her, he had been thinking of her. Yasu was handsome and good and she felt very bad.

She kissed down his chin and nibbled on his neck, sucking lightly on his pulse before traveling to his chest.

Running his hands into her silky black hair Yasu fell back pulling her on top of him. Nana trailed kisses down his body to the top of his pants where she licked him teasingly. He shuddered gripping her hair tighter knowing what was coming next. It wasn't the first time they had gotten this far and he had enjoyed her hot mouth plenty of times to anticipate great pleasure.

Unzipping his pants and pulling at the waist band of his boxers she was delighted to find him semi hard. Kissing the tip of his manhood she smiled. She retraced her kisses up to his lips and opened her legs to straddle him. A distant buzzing sound registered in her mind then something was vibrating beneath her thigh. She jumped at the sensation then gave an exacerbated sigh.

"Sorry," Yasu apologized pulling his cell phone from his pocket. "I can ignore it."

She yawned already giving up, "just answer it."

What pissed her off most was that part of her felt relieved he would have to leave. Her kind, unselfish, sexy boyfriend deserved so much better than her. The moment he left all her thoughts would be for Ren. Every cell in her body would beg her to run straight to his place.

Yasu stepped out to take the call and returned with his clothes fixed. He was getting ready to leave.

"Work?" She didn't have to ask to know where he was running off to. Work was important to both of them. They were so much alike and so different in all the wrong ways.

"I'll hurry home," when he made a promise he kept it and if she were honest with herself she didn't want to have sex with him. It was never him her body craved even if her brain thought he was the right choice. The safe dependable path in life.

"Don't worry," she waved him off, "I'll call Nobu back here. We'll go to the bar or something."

With a final kiss on her lips he left and she picked up the phone on his desk. Having to force herself to push the familiar numbers to call Nobu as opposed to dialing the number her fingers wanted to. She waited for him to answer, her impatient right hand tapped lightly on the desk. Slamming the phone down on the fourth ring she walked to her closet to find an outfit. She needed to go out and get her mind off of Ren.


	5. Something to Sleep to

It was just dancing. Rhythmic movement of her hips and legs. The tempo of the music decided the sway of her body. Everybody in the room was either dancing or drinking. She didn't stand out in the least yet she drew his attention. He had spotted her in the crowd and feeling like a stalker he watched her. Crept closer to her drawn in by the forbidden skin revealed by her short skirt.

Yasu had left her wanting again. He could tell by the way she was dancing. It wasn't a secret that when she needed to get on stage it was to release some pent up frustration. Since that was not an option at the moment she took her beer to the dance floor and danced with the nearest male. He was sure both Nobu and him knew how frustrated she had been lately with Yasu's workaholic personality.

The terrible lighting in the club made it hard to make out very many features of her numerous dance partners. Whether they were pretty or even male meant nothing to her. Ren charged himself with watching over her for the night. He ordered another beer telling himself that his eyes had to stray to her waist, chest and hips to make sure her partners hands weren't touching anything inappropriate. It was up to him to judge how close was too close and as soon as some one tried to kiss or grope he he'd step in. This was all part of being a good friend, like Yasu always was.

'Good friends don't steal girls from you.' His thoughts turned more bitter with each mug of beer he downed. 'Friends don't watch you pine over a girl and then kiss them behind your back.'

He downed another beer having lost count five beers ago. Suddenly everyone was too close to her, she should be his and only dance with him. Dance for his eyes only. She should have been his girl and why wasn't she? Because his 'good friend' had stolen her. So why couldn't he steal her too?

Strong hands yanked her waist away from her current dance partner. He was strong and dug his fingers into the flesh just beneath her skirt at her hips.

"I'm not nearly drunk enough to put up with this shit." Nana struggled pushing on the mans hard chest to get away.

"Does your boyfriend know where you are?" The mans voice in her ear startled her. Then she relaxed feeling safe.

Bringing her closer Ren smirked. His fingers gripped her roughly hauling her up so she had to stand on her toes. A hazy drunkenness clouded his mind as he pressed his forehead to hers.

"Ren, you're drunk," fear gripped her but it was an odd kind of fear. A tingling addictive fear that excited her to the point of intoxication.

"I am not! I swear I had like two beers," he replied holding up four fingers. Counting his fingers he realized that was wrong and held both hands up to count. "Six. Know what it doesn't matter. You, you have a boyfriend."

"I'm aware of that." She sighed sending a longing glance at the bar before setting her sights on the exit. If she drank any more she wouldn't be able to control herself and it'd be best for both of them to go home.

"If I had a girl like you I'd be sure to know where she was at all times. Wouldn't be too difficult either, as you'd always be in my bed begging me for more." Before Nana could register it they were moving to one of the dark corners of the club. The corners were kept dark for a reason, she had been warned to stay away from them by the very man dragging her there.

She had to get out of this crammed place. "Ren!"

Feeling herself being lifted she instinctively held onto him with her legs and arms. Dark shadows moved in her peripheral. People concealed in their wanton acts from the prying eyes of dancers, drunks and possibly boyfriends. Well meaning, hard working unselfish boyfriends, just like hers.

Perfect loving Yasu, who's only flaw was that he wasn't Ren. As womanizing, argumentative and complicating as Ren was she was drowning in his warm eyes. Feeling drunk herself, her hands sunk into his thick locks of spiked hair. She threw caution in the wind and ignored the part of her that cared about Yasu, "Would you really make me beg?" She asked pressing her chest to his.

Stealing kisses that were merely chaste pecks on the lips Ren replied, "it's only fair for you to beg after you teased me all day. Dancing with all those people, showing off what I can't have. All day, every day you flaunt that body not knowing how badly I want it."

He wanted to touch her, taste her, he wanted her to be his. The short sweet kisses were innocent compared to what he wanted. Making out in this dim club was never going to be enough. He had to see her as he stole her. Smoothing his tongue

along her lips, he begged for entrance into her

mouth and she complied. He kissed her hungrily drawing a moan from his own throat.

"If you were mine there's no way you'd be out at night. I'd have you at home and naked. In fact," ushering her to the exit he made sure to keep contact with her the whole time, afraid she might vanish. "I think tonight I'll live out that fantasy."

He had gotten her to his place and instantly pounced on her. They were in the entry way to his home when he lifted her up and trapped her between the wall and himself. Taking her lips in his he demanded entrance for his tongue to explore. She ran her hands up and down his back burrowing beneath his shirt before heading back up to his hair.

The thick spiked hair made her eyes shoot wide open. This wasn't just fooling around at a club, they were alone now. Roughly she tugged at his hair calling out his name, "Ren wait, stop." Ignoring her his lips moved down her neck and he began to push her shirt down to get to her chest. Pushing at his head she clutched at the reasons this was wrong to remind her why she had to stop it. "Ren!"

Lifting her shirt over her head, Ren shot Nana a questioning look. He knew this was wrong. The thrill that came with having her in his arms was tarnished by the knowledge that she wasn't his. Still he had no will to stop himself.

"No need to worry, your breasts are perfect." His tongue danced over the swell of her breast before dipping under her bra. She wasn't aware of it when he unhooked her bra but it was her who let it fall to the floor concerned only with his lips sucking on her flesh. Her labored breathing encouraged his fingers to find the hem of her skirt.

Stopping him never even crossed her mind until she felt one warm digit rubbing her through her panties. She gripped onto his neck and buried her face in his chest, muffling her moans. Feather light kisses were placed on her temple and cheek as he eased his hand into her underwear.

"Nnmmm," she attempted to verbally protest but her slick wet folds being touched sent shivers of bliss rushing up her spine. Speech was an impossibility with first one then two fingers pumping in and out of her.

Not giving her another chance to resist Ren sunk to his knees supporting her on his shoulders. She braced herself against the wall giving in to the feelings he stirred in her. He toyed with her sensitive flesh stroking his tongue over her clit before dipping into her. The tear of her panties barely registered in her mind as he stretched it to far holding aside. Teasingly he nipped at her thigh causing irritation to build up in her.

"Ren, please," pushing her hips forward in offering she begged.

"Please what?" If she wanted him, she was going to have to beg. He had to know that he wasn't the only one that wanted this.

"Please," she jumped when he placed his tongue flat against her folds. "Ren," sliding her down his body Ren fell back and pulled her on top of him. He took her hands in his and had her unbutton his pants.

She gulped audibly, "tell me to stop and I will." If he was telling the truth or not was unclear to both of them.

Hadn't she said stop before? Did it really make a difference to him if she was willing or not? He wanted her and that was all that mattered at the moment, Nana had to believe that. If she told herself he cared about her feelings she'd never be able to be just friends with him again. This night was all they could ever have. Because he was leaving. Because if Yasu ever found out he'd be heart broken. Because Nana didn't want a long distance relationship and following some guy wasn't an option that appealed to her. One drunken mistake was all they could ever have.

She lifted his shirt over his head as a way of answering. They kissed, molding their mouths together and sucking on each others tongues. He rolled them over placing himself on top so he could more easily remove his pants. Again he used her hands incriminating both of them in this betrayal. Slowly they slid his pants and boxers off of him.

Nana refused to look a sudden shyness overtaking her. Taking hold of her jaw Ren forcing her to watch as he entered her inch by inch.

"Ow," she cried out stopping his movements.

"We can stop if you want," that wasn't true and he knew it. Offering a way out was another way to further involve her in his crime. He had also promised her to make her beg.

"Please don't stop Ren. Please," bucking her hips she drew him in deeper and sucked in a pained breath.

Clawing her red nails into his arms she arched her back pushing their hips closer. He sank into her swiftly and she bit her lip to deviate the discomfort of the unfamiliar intrusion. Taking her face in his hand he parted her teeth from her bottom lip with his thumb.

"When we're sober this will all be a dream. We'll still be friends then right?" The thought of living with out being able to see her was dreadful. He had to know he hadn't killed their friendship.

"Stop whining like a girl and fuck me already." An end to their friendship was not on her mind at the moment. There was very little on her mind at the moment.

Kissing him deeply she coaxed his hips into a gentle rhythm. He complied to her slow gentle pace gripping her hair to angle her head and better battle with her tongue. Closing his eyes he made believe that she was his. The nails digging into his back drove his hips faster into her body. Her addictive mouth leaving his to lap at the damp skin of his neck and collar bone nearly sent him over the edge. He pounded harder and deeper and even faster still. She could feel her insides coiling in ecstasy as her inner walls clenched around his hard member. Clawing into him she let out a scream of elation clenching and unclenching as she came.

Resting her head on his chest Nana closed her eyes not caring when he lifted her to take them both to his bed. She was too tired to worry about what he was doing now. Too bad because he wasn't planning to let her rest anytime soon.

**Boo!**


	6. I Want You, I Need You, I Love you

They lied there in the silence that seemed to create a chasm between them. The words they both wanted to hear were on their lips ready to fully betray Yasu. If they said those three words to each other then there was no choice but to be together. As they were now, they could walk away and never speak of this again.

Hoping that this was what he had wanted all along Ren rolled over smiling down at her. His hands were incapable of being off of her for too long and they found their way to her face.

"Come with me." It wasn't a request but an assumption, "Yasu will hate us both. Let's run away before he can kill us in a crazy jealous rage."

Nana laughed, "he won't do that. He'll never even know it happened, you don't have to worry about your friendship. This was a going away present, I'm not going to tell if you don't."

"You gave me your virginity," he fumbled with his words. "A going away present? Your virginity."

"Yeah I guess. Don't be such a girl. I didn't get you anything and you seemed to want sex," she shrugged trying to pass for nonchalant. "We had both been drinking anyway, a drunken going away present." She was scared of feeling too much for him. Afraid of wanting something she could never have.

If neither of them said those words the other one wouldn't either. They were both trapped by their cowardice.

"Since I'm still here," full of an aching sadness but not wanting to let her go yet Ren leaned in to her ear. "Can I still enjoy my gift?" Lacing his voice with lust Ren molded his lips over the pulse of her neck and sucked hard. He wanted to be sure to leave a mark as a punishment for her not loving him. Let her explain it to Yasu.

Nana didn't seem to mind his harsh treatment and she gave in to his every demand. He used his tongue to get her hot, his lips to drive her insane and pulled her out of bed countless times with his muscled arms, to throw her against a wall. Each time she thought he was finished with her he took the time to coax her into another round of mind blowing sex. Her body was too fascinating for him not to do everything he could think of. Test her limits and learn all he could about her physically. At least he would own her in a way Yasu never would.

When she was too exhausted to keep her eyes opened she whined, "stop already you perverted bastard. Six times wasn't enough for you?"

"Learn to count, you came seven times for me." Ren gave a cocky smile that she felt the need to erase.

"Six, I faked the last one. I'm too tired to respond to your perverted needs." She closed her eyes and failed to notice he was carrying her until he dropped her onto something cold. She only had seconds to blink in confusion before cold water came spraying down on her.

"What the hell!" Ren was laughing as he climbed in to sit opposite her in the rising water that was beginning to warm up. "Jerk," she glared getting up to climb out of the tub.

Hands taking hers he pulled her back down, "relax," he took a washcloth and poured soap onto it. "Relax," he repeated in her ear massaging her shoulders, pulling her back to his chest. "You'll be sore in the morning, I felt like being nice and soothing some of the aches now."

Leaning back she let his hands roam over her arms which admittedly were starting to hurt. They didn't feel abused but rather over used. Nana blushed thinking about what she had used her arms and hands for, clinging so tight to him it hurt, supporting herself on elbows and knees until she collapsed and only he was holding her butt in the air. Not only her arms but her legs, throat and sides were throbbing. Startling to her, the apex of her thighs and up to her core, there was a gratifying numbness.

His fingers kneaded her skin, lulling her into a half sleep state. Pliable and exposed in his arms she never felt more vulnerable in her life. Yet there was no strength to change the defenseless position he held her in.

"Shall I stay?" A breathy whisper in her ear made her tip her head up slightly. She stared at him with heavy hooded eyes. The angle of her neck was perfect for him to slip his hand up and grab a hold. Cutting off her airway he sealed his lips over hers prying her mouth open to plunge into it.

Making whimpering noises Nana scratched feebly at his hand squeezing her throat. His words made little sense and his actions alarmed her. What was more bothersome was that her body was feeling pleasure from the lack of oxygen. What she thought was numbness turned out to be a precursor to over sensitivity. Between her thighs was humming with a need to be touched, violently, softly, it didn't matter as long as he touched her.

"You'd never come with, would you," tightening his grip on her neck with his left hand his right slipped into her. She jerked up to meet his hand driven out of control by his abuse. "Sensitive."

She got the feeling he had manipulated her body to be this tender. That sense of danger crept up her spine again heightening the sensation of his fingers pumping in and out of her. She didn't know whether to put up a struggle to free her airway or move her hips to reach a faster release. Sounds of desperation were cut off by his hold, long red gashes marred his right hand and down his arm. The harder she fought his right hand the faster and more forceful his left became. Finally when she felt she was about to pass out her insides convulsed around his fingers and he let go allowing her to breath.

"Seven," she nodded in surrender unable to do anything else besides swallow gulps of air.

Her head rested on his shoulder eyes dully staring up. She still had her nails clawing into his arms holding his hands in place until she could calm her body. He wanted for her to begin breathing normally and lose the tension in her hands before he finished bathing her. At ease in his arms for reasons unknown to her she allowed herself to be lulled into a half sleep and take in everything afterwards as if it were a dream.

The whispers they shared when he finally tucked her in to bed beside him were a dream.

"I love you Nana," fake and untrue but it was after all a dream so saying it back wouldn't hurt her one bit.

"I love you too, Ren," the feather light kiss to her forehead was her favorite part of the dream.

**Maybe I write only for my own enjoyment but people keep coming back so some one must like this story. It has no reviews or favorites :( oh well I will continue to write for whomever is reading cause I know they exist based on the number of visits. For some reason my incest stories (skip beat- cain/setsu) are the most liked out of all of them. I wonder why? Any way Ren will be leaving soon :( so sad. Any Nana/Yasu fans? If so you'll love the upcoming chapters, Nana/Ren people are going to hate me. He took her virginity if that helps, I wanted to keep in canon even if it's altered reality. **


	7. Love Fool

Shaking her Ren was desperate to get her to wake up. Nana stirred but didn't open her eyes. She mumbled something about being exhausted before hiding her head under a pillow. Admitting he was more experienced with getting girls into bed then out he did the only thing he thought would get her attention.

Nana writhed and squirmed feeling the heat pool between her thighs as he bit down on a hardened nipple with no pretend gentleness. She gripped his hair and pushed him away but he didn't let go and a jolt of pain built up more pressure inside of her.

"Not again, ha aahh!" Her complaint turned into an erotic scream.

"Get out of my bed." He withdrew from her breast with a wet plop sound. She sat up giving him an offended glare.

"What, now that you got what you wanted I have to leave? I thought we were friends." Her face slipped showing him a wounded girl for a split second before it became cold and uncaring. It was painful to know that all she was, was a one night stand. At least now she knew and could throw away half asleep, dreamed proclamations of love.

"Hey," he stopped her from gathering her clothes by catching her arm. "I didn't mean you have to leave. Your boyfriend called here looking for you. I figured you'd better get dressed so he doesn't find out you had seven orgasms in a row last night. Take a shower too, you smell like me." Kissing her forehead he sent her to the shower. "Friends?" He asked hopeful she wouldn't want to go back to being just friends.

"Yeah, friends." She was relieved they'd still be friends but irked by how easy it seemed for him to go back to being just friends. She headed for the shower but stopped when she looked down at herself and nearly choked. "How the hell am I supposed to explain these?"

Ren laughed at the nude fuming woman approaching him. Her sharp nails pointed to her breasts and at first all he saw were the two perfect mounds enticing his mouth. It wasn't them she was aiming his attention at though and he knew that he was in trouble. There was no way a guy could overlook that many blemishes on his girls skin. He was the only suspect around being that he was a playboy and Nana had spent the night with him. No way was Yasu buying the 'we met up last night and had a few drinks. Nana slept in the bed alone I slept on the couch,' story Ren had told him over the phone.

"We had a few too many beers and we made out. I went overboard because I was drunk but you stopped me before anything really bad happened. He'll be mad at me but it'll be fine." It was the best lie he could come up with, at least she would be spared a fight. And Yasu wouldn't stay angry at him forever, he hoped. If he did stay mad then Ren was leaving soon, so it wouldn't matter.

Nana balked at his solution, "because 'Yasu I sort of cheated on you with Ren,' is more tactful than, 'I fucked Ren and he made me orgasm five times,' five not seven. I faked the last two."

"You are such a liar. Stop saying things like that." He realized how many times she'd climaxed wasn't the issue but a girl faking it was insulting. Even more so because he had feelings for her. "My ego won't allow you to leave unsatisfied."

"Ren please stay on the topic of hiding these suspicious bruises all over some very intimate parts of my body from Yasu." He didn't make an attempt to discuss the subject. Snapping her fingers in his face she hoped to draw his eyes away from her body but it was no use. "Fine seven, it is my number after all. What possible enjoyment did you get out of all your efforts? You only climaxed twice and one of those times was orally facilitated."

"The pleasure of knowing you were satisfied, as indicated by how loud you screamed my name. It's a bonus if you can barely wake up afterwards. I will need to hear those screams again to heal my wounded ego." Lightly skimming her collar bone he moved his hands down her body. "For extra fun I now know every sensitive spot on your body. Might I add," massaging her breasts in his hands he clung to the moment. "You were extremely good at facilitating my climax. You know for a virgin."

"For a virgin. So you're saying I was bad!" Indignant she shoved his hands away.

"I'm saying there is so much I could teach you. Too bad you don't wanna dump baldy." He'd heard her clearly answer his love last night. It wasn't right for her to deny them both happiness. "Be my girl and..."

"And what? Go to Tokyo? Wait for you to come home? Yea that will work out fine until you're big and famous and on tour with all those slutty groupies." There was no way he was dragging her to Tokyo to be his little house wife. Releasing a heavy breath Ren lowered his head to her shoulder.

"You could have sex with _him _thousands of times and never will it be as wonderful as when you were with me. I've cursed you Osaki. No matter what you will never feel satisfied with _him_." If she said she was already unsatisfied with Yasu, he'd only be more adamant about her going to Tokyo.

"Good thing we'll still be friends. You could always come home to visit Yasu and I. If I'm feeling horribly unsatisfied I'll let you know then." Mouth centimeters from his she licked her lips, her eyes daring him to follow her tongue back into her mouth. A knock on the door before it started to open interrupted them. Nana jump back into bed and pulled the sheets over her head. Full of longing and no regret Ren walked over to greet Yasu.

"She's hiding from you. Apparently alcohol and her don't mix well. You don't wanna see her. I'm scarred for life at seeing such a pretty face look so worn." Pity for her made him lie. She was pathetic in the way she staid with Yasu out of loneliness. He was convinced she didn't love him the way a woman loved her boyfriend, after last night there was no doubt in Ren's mind who she loved. Her declaration, a soft truthful whisper would haunt him forever now. He lead Yasu to his kitchen wanting to give her time to collect herself.

"You didn't try anything with her did you?" Yasu asked in a teasing tone. There was no distrust or suspicion for his friend.

"No but we were all pretty drunk. I'm warning you now a lot of men and women were all over her but she made it here in one piece. Don't be too pissed when you see her." As if on cue Nana came out drenched and clothed in what Ren could have sworn was his shirt. It was less feminine last time he'd worn it. The belt sinching her waist made it look like a dress.

"Yasu, your friend has been mean." And here it was, the number one most irksome thing about their relationship. Yasu spoiled and babied her and Nana cried to get what ever it was she wanted, in this case to stay out of trouble. In Ren's opinion Yasu had tainted her mature personality.

Eying Ren, Yasu smoothed his hands over her back. The dress she wore was vaguely familiar and a bit too baggy, covering much more than normal for her. Her hair was pulled to the front hiding even more of her neck. It was getting long and he combed his fingers through the tips pushing some aside.

"What's this?" He asked finding what looked like bites sized bruises all over her neck.

"Don't worry about it," she took her hair combing it back into place over her hickeys. "I have some bruises that's all." Ren held in a snort pretending to mind his own business of fixing breakfast. "We should go home now. I've taken up enough of Ren's time and space."

"Not at all," Ren said in a mockingly friendly voice, the undercurrent of lust was lost on Yasu. "I enjoyed your company. Come back again before I leave." Waving them off with a happy smile he had a feeling of dread. If she wasn't meant for him why did watching her hang on his best friend's arm make him want to hurl?

"You two seem to be getting along. What happened to, 'Damn bastard running off to Tokyo with out our band. Let's beat the shit out of him,' you were saying it to Nobu all day yesterday. Is that how you got the bruises? You attacked him and," pausing to scrutinize what he could see of the marks. "Did he choke you?" Yasu wanted to take a closer look at the marks on her neck but she stopped him.

"No!" Yes, she thought trying to not blush. The memory of his hand constricting her air while the other played with her body made her squirm. Flustered and a little scared of her own fucked up desires she rushed to halt his investigation. "I told you not to worry about the bruises. Ren didn't hurt me." That was a lie too. He had hurt her worse than she had ever imagined possible. He didn't love her and he was never going to stay with her.

"Alright, I won't pry. I know what it's like to be drunk and have a little too much fun. Ren said he got you home safely and I believe him." A part of her wondered at the lack of guilt she was feeling.

"Yasu," he was a good man and if he ever knew what she had done his heart would be broken.

"Hmm," Yasu gave her a calming smile.

Her heart beat never skipped for him, instead it slowed to a steady beat. He didn't cause her to burn with desire but his mere smile brought on a serene warmth. How could she not love him the way she loved Ren? He was obviously the better choice for her mental and emotional health.

"You look tired. Let's go home and I'll make you something to eat." Taking his hand she made up her mind to dedicate all her strength towards making him happy. Once Ren was gone that would be it and she'd swear never to betray Yasu again.

It was a misfortune that love never allowed the heart to agree with the brains logic.

**So I know some one who cheats a lot on their spouse. In my opinion they are not a bad person, but a lonely one and a stupid drunk who does stupid things. Any way the spouse sees these "bruises" and things but ignores them. Love is blind I guess. So if Yasu over looking all the love bites seems unrealistic, just trust me some people prefer to lie to themselves and they do it so well they never even notice it's a lie. **


	8. Careless Whisper

**A/N thanks for the reviews and sorry I don't update more often. The image for this story is my very first polymer clay creation. I taught myself and I was proud for about 2 seconds then Ren broke and I started to cry because well you know symbolism and poor Ren always dies! :'(**

It was the way he held her, almost crushing her to him. Melding the two of them together, so neither of them would ever have to be alone again. The last time she saw him she prayed he'd never let go of her.

They danced that last night he was here. At the last party he held at his place.

'Please stay,' her mouth wanted so badly to form the words as she swayed her hips against his. This kind of dancing was dangerous since Yasu and dozens of his friends were here. Ren didn't seem to care however as he pulled her closer, wrapping her in his arms. His lips brushed her neck hidden by her long black hair.

"Yasu likes long hair doesn't he?" It was a mumble she wasn't sure if she'd heard correctly or not. She looked straight ahead at her boyfriend who was speaking with Shion. A simple tilt of his head and he'd see them. Catch them in their betrayal. There would be no lying her way out of this. If only he would just look.

"Come here."

Ren lead her away. No one at the party noticed them go or minded their absence. Nana wasn't sure if that was a good thing.

His hands were rough and forceful taking all her will power away. They left his place and found a quiet spot on the beach. Kissing her so hard her lips hurt Ren pushed her dress up over her hips. He had already removed his jacket to set beneath her as a blanket before pushing her down. Landing hard on his leather jacket Nana had seconds to stare up at him before he was on top of her. She couldn't keep up with his frenzied motions as he skipped the warm up and entered her hastily.

"Ow," she wasn't ready for him and her insides burned with the sudden intrusion.

"Sorry," he kissed her cheek and took a deep breath slowing himself down. "I didn't mean to hurt you." It would have been a sweet thing to say if it didn't carry so much weight.

Had he not started this affair she'd be pain free. If he would've staid with her she'd have no tears constantly spilling from her eyes.

He was right, it would never be as wonderful as when she was with him, but he was long gone. Six months and eight nights ago she slept in his arms and felt happier than she ever imagined she could.

Tonight she lay awake beside a different man. The one who she should love and want to be with. He was good for her and treated her like a queen. At night he made love with her. It was sweet and pleasant. Not like with Ren where she could hardly tell if she were experiencing pain or pleasure. All she ever knew was she wanted more.

If she were being honest with herself she was very unhappy. Like any overly protective sweet normal man Yasu didn't ever accidentally hurt her. He didn't coax her body into submission and simply accepted it when she wasn't in the mood.

"Yasu?" She caressed his bare back. Another problem was that he slept on his stomach every night. Nana was never clingy or cuddly, but when Ren pulled her close and cradled her in his arms she felt as if she could die happy in that moment. A warm body with a steady heartbeat beneath her fingers. She had not needed that until Ren gave it to her.

"Ya..." she stopped herself and got out of bed. If she woke him up what would she say? The only excuse at this hour was being horny or having bad dream. The first one would lead to sex and the second to another lie she'd have to come up with. She couldn't say, 'I had a dream about the last time Ren fucked me and the bad part was when I woke up to you.' That would be too blunt and heartless.

In the bathroom she stared in the mirror wondering what it was she really missed. The security of being held all night, the passion he ignited in her, or the thrill of doing something so wrong. His marks had faded from her flesh long ago and had since been replaced by Yasu. Her body belonged to Yasu, her future was with Yasu.

"Uh," clamping a hand over her mouth and touching her eyes in the cold mirror she realized she was crying.

"Nana?" Yasu knocked on the door before entering. Quickly she turned away wiping her face. "What's wrong?" He flipped her around to see her face.

"I," what could she say? 'I miss Ren,' or 'I wish you were him.' Those words would be too cruel. Nana shook her head and embraced Yasu taking in his comforting warmth.

The smell of Black Stone cigarillos permeated her senses and calmed her nerves. The ache in her heart lessened because of his presence but it never faded completely. Yasu was the only one who could get her to this state of peacefulness but the inner turmoil wouldn't ever completely leave her even with him.

He was more of an older brother in a way. Always strong and protective. Doting on her carelessly as if she were a spoiled child. Sleeping beside him, being near him or in his arms was soothing. Loved was how she would describe her life now. Where was the passion? Did he lust for her? She wondered thinking about all the time they had spent together.

Of course he did, she knew by the way he bent down to kiss her. It was not him who lacked desire, it was her. She gave in to his lips and he lifted her on to the sink. Not only did she lack the excitement for sex, she also had little drive to continue on living. Yasu had more than enough money to support both of them so she had quit working. Taking various music lessons was how she spent her days. Playing guitar and thinking about Ren, singing and thinking of Ren, learning the drums and some piano and wondering if Ren ever thought of her.

Yasu slid her panties down her legs and she flung them off her feet. She wore the shirts she had stolen from Ren to bed every night. When Yasu had questioned her about them she was fortunate enough for Nobu to be over.

"I gave them to her." He had lied for her giving her a look that said she had some explaining to do. "They don't fit me anymore. Some of them were too big to begin with and others stretched in the wash." Since the clothes would be big on him he used his height to her advantage. Then she had to tell him every thing and put up with his sappy love sick tears.

She cursed and stop thrusting her hips to Yasu's rhythm. It was wrong on more than one level to be thinking about Nobu right now.

"Nana, what's wrong?"

Biting down on her lip Nana did her best to hide her broken heart. "Nothing," she snaked her arms around his neck and closed her eyes. There was only one way she could get through this so Yasu would be satisfied. In her mind she would be with Ren. She would cum and Yasu would feel like a good loving boyfriend. This way she'd be able to smile and bear the guilt.

Silently she wondered if Ren had to think of her while with who ever was keeping him warm at night. So lost in thought she let her mouth slip open and a low whisper came out.

"Ren."

**A/N Sorry! Sorry! A million times sorry for being a slow updater. Also if this chapter isn't very good I apologize. **

**I somehow feel as if we never got enough Ren. There were all those Hachi+one love scenes and Takumi+some random slut love scenes but only a few Ren+Nana. I don't know maybe I'm just crazy obsessed with him. I wish we had gotten more Ren. Thanks again for the reviews. **


	9. One Thing

**A/N: new chapter Yay! I have so many new story ideas ggrr. As a gift to myself I plan to work on one at a time until they are mostly all finished before starting a new one. As soon as this chapter is up I will start the next and hopefully have it up in a day or two. Fingers crossed so that I don't get distracted. **

"I'm fine really," Nana reassured her boyfriend again. It was his lunch break so he decided to drop in on her lessons. He paid for them so she saw no reason to object to his intrusion. Her vocal coach excused herself to give them some privacy.

"Really?" Yasu's tone was light and teasing revealing none of his concern for her. It was clear to him that she missed their friend who had not bothered to visit or call since he left. He also had some concerns about the young man he'd grown up with. "That was the fourth night in a row I have woken up to you crying."

She didn't point out that it was the fourth night he'd been home long enough to catch her crying. It was a rare occasion for him to even come home some night. Work was very important to him. How rich did one person need to be? Or was it simply for his parents approval?

"I had a nightmare," it was stupid of her to say and she knew it. Hadn't she decided not to use a bad dream as an excuse last night? Now she had to come up with something scary and believable. "I dreamt about Ren," all good lies started with the truth. "He hasn't checked in with any of us and that isn't like him. In my dream he was being stocked by a creepy obsessed fan and she eventually killed him. I'm worried, what if he needs help but he's unable to reach us."

"So you think he's been murdered or kidnapped, is that what has you up at night?" His teasing was starting to annoy her. The thought of Ren dying and never seeing him again was a real concern of hers. "I doubt he'd make a good hostage. He's a little high maintenance and would constantly need coddling. He'd be returned with a room service bill attached."

"Or they'd just kill him." Her far away glassy stare made Yasu serious. "Then we'd never see the idiot again and we'd miss his funeral because he has no family here for them to call. How would the record company people know we're here waiting for him?"

"Calm down, he hasn't been kidnapped. I saw him on TV this morning." Yasu offered as comfort.

"You saw a recording. He could be cold and alone in a damp basement right now and I would have no way of knowing."

He tried to be serious and understanding but the face she was making was too adorable. He chuckled and kissed her cheek.

"I'll call Trapnest's leader and have a talk with Ren. You practice your song lyrics." Stealing one last glance of her as he left Yasu saw the queasy expression on her face. It made him worry that his girlfriend was making herself sick over another man. She barely slept in four days and getting her to eat was a challenge. Why was she so concerned for Ren? Was it really friendship between them or was there something more.

"Idiot," Nana berated herself when Yasu was gone. "Going on and on like that about Ren in front of Yasu! The man isn't dumb he can tell something's up." Pacing the room she paused before a mirror on the wall. "Give him up. Yasu is the better man."

Her singing coach entered the room wiping crumbs from her mouth.

"Well then, shall we get back to work?" Her teacher had a deep voice like her and she also attributed it to smoking and drinking at a young age.

"Yasu, it's been a while. How're you?" Something in his voice sounded wrong. There was a secret Takumi was hiding from him and Yasu knew it the minute Takumi answered the phone.

"Is Ren alive?" Worried that Nana had predicted his demise correctly he had to ask. "Do you need ransom money?"

"What? No Ren is," Takumi stopped to think of a good thing to say. The pause sounded suspicious to Yasu but he patiently waited for Takumi to continue. "He's alive and around here somewhere."

"Good, find him so I can speak with him please."

Takumi looked down at the bed where Ren was curled up into himself shaking uncontrollably. Reira sat beside him petting his head in an effort to soothe him.

"That might be a problem. He's sort of sick at the moment. Vomiting and he appears to be freezing. I can have him call you when he's feeling better." They both knew that Ren would never call. He was avoiding Yasu and consequently Nana.

"Tell him that I need his advice on the best way to propose to our girl. If he wants to give up without a fight that's fine with me, as long as he knows that I know." With a laugh he added. "I'm not sure what it is I know how ever. But I know there was an occurrence between them and I want you to know that I can tell something is wrong over there. No matter what he did with her, Takumi, if he doesn't come home alive and well I will make you pay."

With a shiver Takumi stared down at the feeble boy, the dial tone emphasizing the threat.

**A/N thank you for the reviews, adds, and follows. I feel happy and thanks for the compliments. Hope you liked the chapter. I love Yasu again now. I was angry at him for the longest time but now I'm not. Maybe he shouldn't have found out about them so soon... Oh well my plans for the future are outlined up to a certain pt. I just need to come up with a un-sappy ending now. **


	10. Far Away

Just a little more. A few inches were all his hands had left to travel to reach her most intimate treasure. It only he would move faster and touch her roughly like before. This soft and slow teasing touch was okay too, she decided. It made her feel warm as if she were melting.

His tongue roamed over her thighs as his hands traveled higher. Her hands sunk into his thick hair pulling it hard causing him to bite into her thigh.

"Ha...Ren!" He crawled up her body pushing her legs up as he went so they were over his shoulders.

"Does this hurt? That boyfriend of yours should be ashamed. It's his job to give your body a work out and stretch it to it's limits. Do I have to come back and..." She never got to hear what he had to say as the door creaked open and shut softly. She sprang up in bed and pulled a sheet over herself.

"Sorry I didn't mean to interrupt," Yasu mused.

Blushing Nana sighed in disappointment. Ren was not in the room with her. She had let her imagination run wild and made herself believe it was him. Of course she realized she had also fallen asleep and it was mostly a dream.

"I'm sorry to say my dear but if you fall asleep while doing that, you're doing it wrong." His words deepened her blush. "Who were you dreaming about? Me?" His question caught her off guard and she couldn't answer. Letting it go he changed the subject. "Guess who I spoke with today."

"Your other lover?"It was a joke to distract herself from her dreams but all it did was make it more obvious that Yasu didn't understand her.

"No, you know there's only you." Resisting the urge to shake him for not playing along she motioned for him to explain. "Takumi," Nana rose from the bed Ren's shirt the only thing covering her and walked to the bathroom.

"Should I know who that is?" She asked on her way to the tub.

"He's the leader of Trapnest. I spoke to him about Ren and was assured that he is safe and alive."

Not wanting to accidentally confess or raise any suspicions, she hastily changed the subject as the tub was filling. "You know we've never taken a bath together."

Creasing his brow Yasu leaned against the door frame. "I wasn't aware that was a requirement in a relationship. Of course I'd be happy to share one with you, but I haven't been able to sit in a tub for years." He began to remove his suit.

"Never mind it won't be cozy if we don't fit." Ren had fit in a much smaller tub with her. It was warm and cozy and she didn't want to taint the memory by bathing with Yasu. "I saved dinner for you."

with a shrug he folded over his arm. "Ok? I thought you'd be more interested in what Ren's been up to." Her guilt was clearly written all over her face and stance. It was hard to think of something nonchalant to say about Ren and his current life.

"Is he screwing his new singer yet?" It was the best she could come up with and the worst thing to say.

"You mean he screwed his old singer?" Yasu played dumb working towards drawing out a confession.

"No!" With false indignation she gave him a push. "I am not a cheater! How could you say such a thing!" He gave a short chuckle before walking to the kitchen. Preferring to leave the past in the past and not wanting to fight he planned to drop the topic completely.

"What ever it was between them, he's gone and she staid with me." Reaching his hand into his pocket he pulled out a black velvet box and smoothed his finger over the top. "She's mine."

The tremors were getting worse the more his mind repeated the message Takumi had relayed to him. Yasu had said propose. That meant marriage and a house and children and a little house wife and mother. Nana, feeling obligated to say yes to marriage, would never leave cheat on her husband.

"I could always force her submit." Shaking his head in an attempt to rid himself of those thoughts he lined up rows of white.

"If you quit, you wouldn't have that shaking problem." Takumi said dropping something beside him. At Ren's questioning look he explained. "An early christmas present. We have a few days off, go home. Yasu misses you and that girl wants you to fight for her. Who knows maybe you'll ba able to kick this habit," motioning to the drugs he knocked down Ren's table spilling it's contents, "if you have a woman in bed with you every night."

Scowling at his spilled heroin Ren picked up the present. A train ticket home and it was for that night. The thought of going home filled him with terror. If Nana saw him like this she'd hate him. If Yasu and Nobu found out they'd be disappointed. But how could he not go? It might be his last chance to steal Nana away.

"I only have three hours to score some more so I'm at normal. You think if I get Nana addicted she'll come back with me." Takumi was visibly disgusted by the suggestion. It was bad enough he had to deal with one addict. "That was the drugs talking." Impishly he promised, "I'll go home clean and sober."

**A/N I'm off to bed now. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for the reviews. **


	11. Over and Over

**A/N: Breaks over back to writing. **

**Sorry it took me so long to post this it's been half done for weeks and you can probably tell where I left off and started again weeks later I'm a little rusty. If you can't don't worry about it. **

**No fair guessing the next chapter reviewers, just kidding everybody should guess so I know if the story is becoming to predictable then I can change it. Though I already know everything except the ending which I keep coming up with sappy love dovey scenes and I don't care for all that sugar coated wrapping up crap. I'll work it out meanwhile the chapter after this one is actually cute and maybe sexy if you like that sort of thing. I hope you get to read it monday but I work overnight and all day today and tomorrow so wait till tuesday. Then poke at me because I'm a procrastinator. **

**Disclaimer: I own a doll named Ren but I do not own Ren and Nana or any one else in this fan fic. Sad. **

Rolling on her side Nana glanced at the flashing red digits of her clock. 2:03 am it flashed, an odd time to be waking up considering they had just gone to bed half an hour ago. Beside her Yasu was stirring from his sleep for the same reason she had. Some one was knocking erratically at the door. Pounding to be let in. She got up first feeling guilty and not wanting Yasu to get up.

"I'll go see who that is. You stay here and get some rest." They both said in unison neither wanting the other to be near Ren alone.

"I already know who it is. Let him in if you need to see him so bad." The accusation hidden beneath Yasu's words made him sound cold. Startled Nana rushed out of there room and down the hall.

Each step she took closer to the door rattled her nerves. There was no real way for her to know it was him since all she did was walk to the door and stare at it for what felt like an eternity. But there was a sinking, nerve racking feeling in her that trouble was all that existed on the other side of that door.

"Open the door, Nana." Jumping at the sound of Yasu's voice closing in on her, Nana reached for the door knob. She unlocked the door and twisted the knob, her stomach turned with it.

The image that greeted her almost made her gag on her nerves. Ren slumped against the door frame teetering forward as she pulled open the door. He had an open can of beer in his hand spilling all over the entrance. His guitar had been discarded on the hallway floor along with beer cans some full, most empty.

"I got herrr waited te...no fi, ummmm...I.. Waited b'you," slurring every letter he spoke, he made a jab at her but missed and fell to the floor. With a snort he rolled over to his back and stared up at her. "Youu you din't answer ssss so soooo I knokttt."

"Umm," Nana adjusted her shirt so he couldn't see up it. "If you had knocked in the first place you wouldn't have had to wait however long you waited." Noticing he had drifted off to sleep can of beer pouring out on his chest where his hand rested she stepped over him into the hall. "Drunken idiot."

Kicking his feet into the door she brought his things in and slammed it shut. She set his guitar down reverently on the couch but chucked the beer to the floor. With minimal help from the half asleep inebriated man she managed to drag him to the couch.

"Is that my shirt?" His words were remarkably coherent for a moment before he fell back into his slumber.

"Lousy drunk." She mummbled as Yasu strolled in with a wastebasket to set beside his head, a bottle of pills and a glass of water. "That's nice of you. When I was sick a few months back you sent Nobu in to nurse me. I guess self induced vomiting is more pitiable than catching a cold."

She couldn't help the pang of jealousy that Ren meant more to Yasu than she did. When she had been sick Yasu refused to miss work to take care of her. He said she was strong enough to fight a cold on her own. Nobu had fussed over her until she grew tired of his face and threw him out. Yasu hadn't lost a second of sleep over her health because he had to work in the morning. All Ren had to do was show up drunk with those depressed puppy dog eyes and sleep was forgotten, Ren was priority number one in Yasu's life. Always had been and always would be.

"As I recall you screamed at me about how you could take care of yourself. I called Nobu over because you didn't want me taking care of you. It must have been your conscience," he pinned her with an intense gaze then smiled lovingly at her. He couldn't help it, she looked adorable when she was trying to cover up her jealousy. "You didn't want to cause trouble for me so you acted tough."

"I wanted you to be a man and earn money." She had wanted him to ignore her protests and insist on taking care of her. Yes it was childish of her to push him away but she had to wonder if Ren would have done the same. Was Nobu the only person who loved her too much to listen to her?

"Listen you have a lot of things to do tomorrow I'll stay up and take care of," Yasu stood and silenced her with a quick kiss.

"Go to bed. He's family to me, that makes him my problem. I can call in sick, at least he'll accept my help." He gave her no chance to offer assistance as he ushered her back to their room. The thought of leaving her alone with his backstabbing slut of a best friend made him sick. All his life he had given Ren everything he wanted and now he had the nerve to steal from him. Nana was his and nobody, not even Ren was taking her from him.

He needed drugs. Alcohol, a bottle of over the counter pain relieving pills, hell he'd take children's cold medicine for a moments peace. This being clean thing was harder than he remembered it being. Maybe if he got off the train now and went back to his apartment he could find some heroin. No Reira had, had them search the place by now. But how was he going to face Nana like this.

"Damn it!" Passengers on the train were careful to keep their distance and a watchful eye on their luggage. It was obvious he was withdrawing from something. Either that or he had forgotten to take his medication that morning.

When it came time for him to exit the train he ran out of the station to acquire alcohol. He didn't make it to Yasu and Nana's apartment until midnight. Standing there he drank a few cans of beer then raised his hand to knock lowered it and drank another. Two hours later he was agitated that they hadn't answered forgetting that they didn't know he was out there waiting. Pounding out a rhythm that sounded like a song to no one but him, he grew more annoyed with every passing second.

Finally the door opened and for the life of him he couldn't figure out what it was about this woman that made him so weak. Sure she was pretty but so were lots of other girls. Girls who wanted to be with him. Girls not dating Yasu. There were so many more suited for him and more willing to do everything he asked. So what was it about this one that drove him to drugs in her absence?

He didn't even mind her harsh treatment of him. A part of him enjoyed the way she kicked him. Some sick side of him liked being hauled over to the couch and dropped onto it like a rag doll. If she continued to be so rough and call him names he'd have to kiss her.

Was that his shirt? His last though before falling into the bliss of blankness, was of how irresistible she could be when she did cute things she thought no one would notice.

"Are you awake?" No mistaking that voice, opening one eye just a sliver he saw Yasu crouched above him. "That's six days now of unconscious vomiting and diarrhea. Lucky you I sent Nana out every day to save you the embarrassment. Of course she thinks you have a bit of a drinking problem and the flu. The truth might crush her heart." He was saying too many words for Ren to catch up. Yasu's words sounded muddled as if he were far away and there was a barrier between them.

The throbbing in Ren's head was blinding. A pill was pressed to his lips and he accepted it as well as the glass of water Yasu offered him.

"We're out of beer. Nana dumped it all out she refuses to enable you and I'm not allowed to either. My girlfriend must really love you," Yasu gripped Ren's hair and pulled his head back. It wasn't meant to be painful he just wanted to check his eyes. Ren felt it though and his headache grew worse.

"How long have I been out?" He asked straining to comprehend Yasu.

Shaking his head Yasu answered, "long enough. I have taken too many days off of work and you have to get back to Tokyo before the paparazzi come here looking for you. You seem to be doing much better any way. Takumi swears you weren't addicted and I guess if you were this would have been a lot more painful."

Not addicted? Yasu and Takumi were lying to themselves if they thought he was done. Once he got back to Tokyo it'd only be a matter of time before he needed a fix.

"Here," Yasu poured amber liquid into a glass. "I was hiding this for myself but we share everything else don't we." He handed the drink over and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "Nana's singing coach made her quit smoking. You'll have to go outside with them or suffer her long memorized rant about healthy lungs." Ren swallowed his drink and held his glass out for another. Yasu poured him another glass and they sat in silence neither of them able to speak.

Ren wanted to apologize but he didn't know what for. Sleeping with Nana was something he didn't regret even if it did cost Yasu's friendship in the end. He hadn't set out to hurt Yasu but he didn't know if he could promise it would not happen again. The drugs he didn't feel were his fault. The company supplied them and Nana drove him to it. If any one needed to say they were sorry it was her. She drove him insane with lust. If she hadn't given in to him none of this would have happened.

A hand slapping down on his shoulder stopped his shaking. His stomach churned and he reflexively raised a cigarette to his lips. He craved something stronger. Nicotine could only sate some of the need boiling in his veins.

"Outside with that!" Screamed Nana from the door. She carried a bag of groceries to the kitchen before stalking over to the couch and snatching the cigarette. "My precious voice will be ruined by your harsh smoke."

"Your voice probably wouldn't sound half as good as it does without this harsh smoke. You need to be more appreciative towards cigarettes for giving you talent." He brought another cigarette to his lips. He lit it and inhaled with relief.

"Put that thing out right now!"

"Make me," he challenged loving the fire in her eyes.

"Put it out!" Nana stepped closer leaning over him. He blew smoke in her face causing her to growl and raise her hands ready to attack.

"When you two are done flirting I think there is something to discuss between the three of us." Yasu interrupted them.

"Who's flirting?" Nana asked with a smirk as she sat on the opposite side of Yasu. "The only way he can get a girl is by getting her wasted."

"So that was you? I remember her being sexier with larger breasts." Looking down at her chest Nana furrowed her brow with scrutiny. "Last time I had sex drunk was amazing though. I don't think it was with you, that must have been the other man you were with that night."

"So you did cheat on me?" Nana fidgetted with her skirt unsure how to get herself out of this one. Her partner in crime was too busy fighting a new wave of nausea to care.

"No we uhh, we were drunk and there was some groping and kissing nothing more." She lied convinced that if Yasu believed that then it must be true. After all they had been drunk and she might have just made up all the kinky things Ren and her had done. Except the marks were real and that other time they had sex she had been completely sober. "We kissed. It was just kissing and it meant nothing."

"Nothing?" Yasu was curious if she really meant that. He had no doubt in his mind that her words were true. She had learned long ago that Yasu couldn't tell when she was lying, not like Ren who scoffed at her lie before rushing to the bathroom. Of course Ren had been there so he knew it was a lie but there was more to it than that. It was like he could read her mind and understood every dark twisted thought she'd ever had.

"Nothing. I feel nothing for him. I'm with you. I love you." The words slipped out before she had time to think. One lie after another and when her brain caught up to the last she froze in panic.

No chance he hadn't heard it. A sideways glance at him proved to her how little he knew her. If he knew her at all he would know not to trust her words when she couldn't look him in the eyes. She was stuck with her lies and her all too forgiving boyfriend.

"I love you too, Nana." She closed her eyes to hide the sadness she felt at deceiving him. "In fact I was planning to ask you something after Ren left and we worked out our difficulties. Since you didn't sleep with him I can think of no reason for us to further discuss something that is in the past and only happened on a drunken whim."

She felt the couch rise as he removed his weight from it and feared opening her eyes. What was he doing standing in front of her? Why was his shadow getting lower and his hands imprisoning hers?

"Nana," he waited for her to look at him and eventually she did feeling it necessary to further convince him of her love. "Will you marry me?"

Mistaking the sharp into of her breath for happy shock Yasu took the ring out of his pocket to reveal to her. As expected he had splurged on a marquis cut diamond set in a white gold band.

Scared speechless she swallowed her gaze never leaving the stunning ring. They didn't hear the bathroom door open or Ren walking over to them.

"Don't hold us in suspense now. Say yes and be happy." She jumped her heart nearly leaping from her chest. It was hard to breath and the atmosphere was constricting. She needed to get out of there fast. "What is that gold? 10K?" He asked Yasu looking pointedly at the ring.

"14 and a one-half carat diamond." Ren whistled acting impressed but he had no clue nor interest in what made one diamond ring more valuable than another.

"Well Nana? Don't make prince charming wait. He is after all rich and kind and caring and gentle and," he paused to think of something bad to say about Yasu but could only come up with, "rich."

"Handsome too," Nana added irked by Ren's reiteration of Yasu being rich. "And a genius and the best lover I've ever had." Ren bit his tongue forced to watch Nana jumped into Yasu's arms screaming, "Yes!"

He saw through her performance of happy girlfriend turned gleeful fiancée. Inside she was screaming no. She wanted nothing more than to run far away from the situation. Just the thought of marriage made her squirm with uncertainty and the daydream of a happy little family filled her with doubt and dread. Girlhood fantasies about white weddings were almost enough to make her break out in hives. She had dug the ditch and he was pleased to watch her suffer as she threw herself into it. Given two days as blushing bride to be and he was certain she'd beg run away with him.

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**A/N: Originally Ren's withdraw was more graphic and lasted about a week and a half which is actually more accurate than six days. Actually some people go through withdrawal symptoms for months before they even begin to subside but everyone's different and while writing those scenes I got an itch to write a whole story about Ren getting clean and some one taking care of him. So I shortened it and I hope that works for you guys. Besides it was icky and this story is supposed to be about lust and sex and Nana cheating with Ren. **


	12. Lost

**Update yay! Sorry it took so long. Longer than I wanted it to because the words won't come out right. I can imagine what I want to happen but Ren always wants to do something else and he always gets his way. This chapter was supposed to go differently and I don't like it but it still works. **

**Wish I had paid more attention to Yasu's back story. I don't recall anything besides his adoptive parents had money. Everything passed that is a blur to me. I mean except that Ren was adorable when he was younger and Yasu had good reason to become a skinhead. **

**Insert disclaimer here.**

Absent minded Nana flipped through the different menus Ren and Nobu had given her. Yasu had returned to work today comforted by the fact that honest trust worthy Nobu was spending the day with Nana. He and Ren seemed to make up before he left but she hadn't heard what was said between them so she couldn't be sure. Nobu was playing along with the charade they had going by dragging her and Ren to a bridal shop to browse the wedding dresses.

After she had said yes to Yasu she had locked herself in the bathroom to shower. What she really did was begin to panic and ended up calling Nobu.

"Why did you say yes?" He asked and she had no answer to give him.

It wasn't like she could say, 'to prove my innocence,' 'because I owe Yasu,' or what she was really thinking, 'to see if Ren would be jealous.' Nobu would think her sick if she admitted Ren's pain and discomfort gave her a tingling thrill. Even she found it filthy to be turned on by that wounded look he gave her.

"You're an idiot," Nobu had brought her attention back to the phone. "You don't even want to get married, how are you gonna handle being wed to Yasu? Yasu who has parents who will no doubt want a traditional wedding with all their friends and relatives and you have who has no relatives. You have exactly two friends. One of which will most likely not attend due to the heart crushing agony he'll be in."

Nana opened her mouth to defend herself in some way but she could think of nothing. On the other end she could hear Nobu sigh and imagined him shaking his head.

"Yasu is offering a cushy safe life. A house with a yard, a car and a large bank account. The house you will keep clean and tidy, the car you will use to drive to the store and the money to buy food. All of this of course is to take care of the children you will undoubtedly agree to have. You will grow old and more miserable as time passes and Ren will be out there living your dream."

"No," Ren's definitive declaration echoed Nana's thoughts. No, she would not be having any children. She looked around to see the sales clerk blushing while Ren described what he wanted her to bring out. "Red and lacy, something short but tasteful." The bright pink tint in her cheeks was due more to the fact that he was teasing her hair with his finger while holding up a black corset and thong set. "She's sexy in black really, but much more enjoyable in red. A nice little silk slip with lace. Or a white corset with red flower embroidery."

"Nobuo why is Ren picking out lingerie?" Nobu held out an off white gown for her to try on.

"Honeymoon." He replied simply yanking her off the couch she had occupied most of the day. Her menus scattered forgotten on the floor and she was shoved into a dressing room. "This is all just for fun of course. You'll be coaxed into a traditional wedding and for that you'll wear a wedding kimono."

"I will wear whatever I happen to throw on that day, sign a piece of paper and leave the rest of the documents for Yasu to fill out. Then we will party and I will wear a fashionable gown designed by Vivienne Westwood. I'm marrying rich after all." It was a joke but it wasn't funny. Sometimes the only comfort Yasu provided was the financial security.

"The tragedy of a marriage of convenience ladies is that the bride has love only for the grooms money. As for the groom he's happy to get laid daily and not have to worry about romance. As they grow older and the relationship progresses the more they will become accustomed to not seeing each other out of bed." Ren spoke loud enough for her to hear but he was holding his conversation with the various women swooning over him. "My poor friends will be stuck in a loveless marriage because that is the safest course. He's a sensible husband and she's a lovely wife, nothing more is needed for this kind of union." He dodged the throw pillow aimed at his head. Nana huffed and closed herself back in the dressing room. The other women, except the clerk wandered back what they were doing before they saw Ren.

This whole thing amused Ren. Convinced that it wouldn't take her very long to back out of the wedding he played along with Nobu. And he took advantage of the chance to make Nana blush and glare daggers at every female he managed to flirt with.

"No I'm serious I've never dated a blond before. Is it true you have more fun?" His hand rested on the store clerks waist and his face was low and close to hers.

"It depends on how cute the guy is. If he looks like you I'm prepared to have all kinds of fun right now."

Two disgusted grunts made them look over at Nobu and Nana. The sails clerk squealed and rushed to fawn over Nana in an elegant dress. It was tight on her breasts with a floral design embroidered underneath them then it flowed loosely to the floor. The hem had tiny beads that grew half way up the skirt like ivy. Ren searched for a joke but all he could think was how he'd give anything to screw her in a wedding dress.

"You don't like it?" Nana asked feeling self conscious in a white dress. One wrong move and she'd stain it, dark colors and less delicate fabrics were more comfortable.

Ren was about to deny her claims when Nobu spoke up.

"It's not that you don't look nice. You're beautiful in it. I'm not too sure though that you should try on one and be done."

"This is the one I like." She replied matter of factly.

"Is it really or do you just not care? You haven't even looked in a mirror or glanced at the other dresses." Nobu began to drag her to the wall of mirrors where she could see herself from different angles. "Is this the dress you want to marry Yasu in?" In a lower voice he asked, "is Yasu the man you want to marry in this dress?" He positioned her so that Ren reflected in every mirror.

With anger in her voice she shoved him before marching over to the selection of dresses Nobu had picked for her. "Fine I'll try on a few more Nobuo!" Yanking one from it's hanger she scared the young sales lady as she shoved passed her.

"We'll try to keep her on a short leash for your safety." Ren caressed the sale clerk's cheek.

She blushed staring at the door, "she's a very pretty girl, how ever did she gain such a nasty temper?"

"You think she's pretty?" Taking her chin he bent down and kissed her lips. "I've always preferred blonds. They're so much nicer."

Pressing a palm to his chest she pushed him, "I thought you'd never been with a blond before."

Nana stepped out of the dressing room then and rolled her eyes.

"Don't be naïve. He's been with more women than he can count, most of them were fare haired virgins." Taking the hand of the sales lady she whispered loudly as if she were sharing a secret with a friend. "He likes them young you know. Some barely over the age of consent and he seduces them. And gender doesn't phase him either. A young boy is just as easily manipulated into bed as a girl. Or so he's told me."

Ren interjected, "that's funny, I don't recall you being so young or having to manipulate you. No in fact you came to me begging for satisfaction. If you're jealous of this pretty lady, I would be more than happy to take care of your needs again."

Staring each other down they made the other occupants of the tiny bridal shop nervous. Ren was the first to break eye contact by roaming over her body. Sensing danger Nobu let out a boisterous laugh slapping them both on their backs.

"These two are so fun. They're kidding of course, it's a joke." With his arm around her shoulders her jerked Nana along with him to the dressing room. "This dress is not the one you want to marry Yasu in. Not that it matters because," whispering in her ear, "you don't want to marry him."

Twenty dresses later Nobu was still giving her the same advice and it was grating on her nerves. She was just about ready to punch him when Ren stepped in. He brought a dress over to her.

"Nobu, we're all tired and starving. Go get us some food." It was with a sigh of relief that Nana watched Nobu run off in search of food. Nobu was more than happy to leave the two of them alone, he sent the sales woman away with all the dresses they decided didn't suite Nana. More accurately the ones Nobu and Ren agreed Yasu wouldn't care for.

"Thank you," taking the dress from Ren, Nana went back into her tiny stall.

Hanging the dress she worked on removing the one she wore. The zipper was stuck and she had trouble figuring out why. It took her a moment to feel around and discover the problem. It was caught on the corset she was wearing underneath in the middle of her back. Not wanting to rip the fabric she tried to carefully remove it from the metal. She jumped when warm hands pushed hers aside and unzipped it for her. She didn't dare speak fearing this was just another fantasy. Just like the daydreams she had been having all day. If she spoke he'd disappear and Nobu or some outside the tiny room would ask her what she had said. The dress slipped off of her gliding over her heated flesh. He moved his hands up slowly loosening the laces of her corset. Shoving it down her hips to land in a pile with the crumpled dress Ren pulled her to him.

"Now you can breath." The air did flow easier now that she was in his arms.

Taking his hands she guided them lower into the waistband of her skirt slip and her underwear. Expecting to wake up at any moment she gave in to her carnal dream and let Ren run his finger along her wet folds. She moaned leaning into his chest.

She didn't wake up. Ren kissed her hair. His lips skimmed over her cheek and the side of her face.

"Sshh," taking her lips in his he tried to silence her but only managed to turn her moans into whimpers. He released her ending their contact, "put the dress on." The simple white gown hung on the wall the only one left she hadn't tried.

"Why?" She asked even as she pushed her slip down. It was too form fitting for a corset and slip to fit underneath.

"Just put it on," he wanted her in the dress she would be married in. Yasu would give her the wedding she wanted, not a traditional ceremony but a marriage. He'd ask for a traditional ceremony but give in to what she wanted. Despite his appearance he was not a man of discipline but indulgence. If she had ever dreamed of being married as a little girl, she would have imagined a white wedding with a father she'd never met giving her away. "This is the one."

She slipped into the strapless dress that hugged her body emphasizing every curve. Holding her hair she waited for Ren to zip her up but he turned her to him instead.

"This is the one." The only thing holding her dress up were her breasts and the slightest movement made it slip. Ren caused it to fall to her hips by shoving her into the wall and hiking up the skirt. He kissed her roughly lifting her up. "I want to fuck you in your wedding dress."

Nana shook her head to clear the fuzzy sense of deja vu. "We can't do this some one will see. Ren you smell like alcohol, you're not thinking clearly." Things were different now. Before he left there was a chance they could end up together but now his place was in Tokyo. A long distance relationship wasn't something Nana believed could last. "Ren I can't."

"Why not? You want it," to prove his point he inserted two fingers into her. She had to bite her lip to stop the scream he elicited. "Tell me you don't want me." Gripping her hair he shook her, "say it. Say you haven't thought of this scenario all day, that you aren't excited by the idea of getting caught."

She hated herself for not being able to open her mouth. The worst part was that even when he was mean about it, he knew what she wanted better than any one. He gave her no more time to speak and shoved his hardened length into her.

"Mm, ow. That hurts you asshole!" Using a bruising kiss to shut her up Ren began to pound into her. Making her feel pain was a punishment for her marrying another man. She tore her mouth away and said too loudly, "Ren stop it, you'll ruin the dress." Nana pounded his chest half heartedly.

"Shut up." Demanding her silence he held his hand over her lips. Growing more and more irritated by the second he picked up his pace but it wasn't working. He couldn't finish. Whenever he came close the words Yasu had spoken to him flooded his thoughts.

"You could not be more loved by me if we actually were brothers by blood. That used to mean something to you Ren." Nana had been in the bathroom for an hour and neither of them knew what to make of her absence. Was she excited? Was she hyperventilating with fear? Did she feel like the walls were closing in on her and there was no way out?

"I think she fell asleep in the tub. She's drowning right now while we sit here doing nothing." Ren smirked not wanting to be scolded by Yasu.

Yasu didn't relent, "if not for me then for her Ren, stop this foolish game. She is your friend and surely you care about her enough to want her to be happy. Think about some one other than yourself for once," he stood towering over Ren. The expression on his face was not of a scorned lover but a displeased parent trying to talk his son out of doing the wrong thing. "I can give her a family and a life filled with years of faithful devotion. What can you give her? A few hours of sex before you have to take off on your next tour. Every where you go you'll have a woman or two waiting for your return and there Nana will be crying all alone in Tokyo because she's not dumb enough to believe your lies and not smart enough to let you go!"

He had nothing to offer Nana but his love. He didn't even know if he could quit using let alone be a faithful boyfriend. Marriage had never crossed his mind and when he thought about it he didn't like the finality of commitment.

"Relax Yassan, it was a one time thing. An act of rebellion because you took something I wanted. It won't happen again." It made sense when Yasu reminded him of all the women he could have. Why was he so adamant about Nana, his friend, when he had his choice of beautiful and exciting women?

It made sense when Yasu and him were speaking with out Nana in the room. But then she was there in a ripped tank top and flannel pants for pajamas. She had her hair combed back and her face cleansed of make up. If not for Yasu she would have been on the floor beneath him with no hope of escape.

Giving up Nana placed tender kisses along his jaw. He stilled his hips preferring to hold her against him and gaze down at the image of a blushing bride.

He imagined they had just said a bunch of corny vows and signed some boring legal documents. They made an appearance at the reception waiting just long enough so it wouldn't be suspicious when they took off to find a dimly lit space where they could be alone. Unable to stay unconnected to each other any long they'd cement their marriage in a closet or the back seat of a car. She'd legally belong to him. Suddenly marriage sounded like a dream come true.

"Ren," she broke the silence resting her head on his shoulder. A wave of contentment embraced them.

"Yeah?"

"How do you know this is the dress?" She felt the tension boil up under his skin before he lowered her and swung her around. The dress flowed up her stomach and breasts like liquid and he zipped it so it hugged her body snugly.

"Ren?" Saying nothing he avoided eye contact as he fixed his clothes. Then he opened the door only to shut it again. "What is it?"

"Osaki-san," he didn't have to answer as the sales lady began to knock on the door. "Are you all right?"

"..." She didn't know what to do or say and was grateful the door had a tiny gap near the floor and not a large one. So no one could see the occupants feet unless they pressed their face to the floor. Ren was no help and she knew if he tried to be helpful he'd be heard and the clerk would find out.

"Osaki-san?"

"Ren!" Nana blurted speaking into the door. "Can you go find Ren for me? I think he went to get me another dress."

They wait with baited breaths for her reply.

"Of course." The cheerful voice rang. Nana paused a second before opening the door a crack and checking.

"Ren are you alright?" With out a word and careful not to make any skin to skin contact he fled the dressing room. "Ren," she didn't like how vulnerable she sounded watching him walk away.

Nobu whistled announcing his presence, "you look," words failed him. "Well like a very beautiful girl watching the man she loves walk out of her life again."

"Stop please Nobu. Just give up already." Showing mercy Nobu set the bag of food he'd brought back on the table beside the couch and lead her to the mirrors and pulled her hair up.

"Yasu will love this one, it's sophisticated. I don't remember picking it out." Nobu looked around unable to see Ren or the sales clerk. He wanted some one else to tell her how well the dress suited her.

Nana was close to tears looking at the perfect dress. It was strapless with lace trim at the top, hugging every curve just enough to accentuate them and falling down to the floor making her appear longer. White silver lace formed a belt under her breasts and connected to it was the train to the dress. She hated it for it's lack of flowers and dark colors. It would match Yasu and his gentleman personality. Simple and beautiful just like everything else that belonged to Yasu.

"This is the one, right Nobuo?"

**A/N rambles. I tried rereading the manga and paying attention to Yasu but then I just stared at Ren. Anyway all I managed to do was come up with questions, like if Ren and Nana were going out shopping together when she was staying with him to avoid Hachi, how come no paparazzi took photos of them. Ren was already more than famous enough at that point to have at least one stalker photographer on him at all times. Oh well sorry for the delay. **


	13. Bitter Taste

**Sorry for the delay. This chapter might be more coarse than the story usually is. That was unplanned and I didn't expect it to happen but then it did and they, yeah. Maybe I just don't like _them _together. **

**Disclaimer: disclaimer. Disclaimer. **

"No stop!" Nobu held his hands up to protect his face. Nana laughed pelting him with snow balls. "Come on you two play fair." He whined trying to block the double assault of white fluff.

It was getting late and they had spent all day planning a wedding that none of them wanted to happen. To avoid the awkwardness that was bound to arise Nana attacked Nobu as soon as they got outside. Ren joined in unable to pass up the chance to play with his friends. That was the problem, they were his friends, she was his most important friend and he would only cause her pain. Yasu was right, a woman waiting at every tour stop was something he would eventually have to endure. Some of them would sneak passed security into his hotel room, others would be hired by Takumi trying to help him the only way he knew how. Most he'd be able to turn down but over time it would be easier to give in.

"Aahh, Ren help!" Nana ran behind him clinging to his coat as Nobu gave chase throwing clumps of snow at them.

With a wink at Nobu, Ren flipped on Nana lifting her in the air and tossing her in the fresh snow. It took the two boys seconds to form new snowballs and rain them down on her. Mirthful screams echoed all around the as Nana tried to stand and make a hasty get away. Catching her Ren swung her up and held her before Nobu who continued to bombard her.

"You three seem to be having fun." Yasu eyed the laughing boys and girl. He had managed to get off work early and decided to offer to pay for every one's cab ride home. That was what he was going to say if they asked but he really came to check on Ren. Not only to make sure he wasn't alone with Nana but also, and mostly because he was still in pain. "Cab?"

The three gave each other conspiratory looks before they advanced on the tall bald man. He began backing up but it was too late they had already gathered snow to attack him with.

Looking worried the cab driver asked the four soaked passengers where they needed to go. He hoped they were all going to the same place so he could be rid of them all at once. They must be insane to walk around the mall drenched in this weather. They gave him three different addresses and he was thankful that at least two of them would be gone quickly.

"Your going to your place?" Nana tried to not look upset over Ren's impending absence. She wanted to speak with him about his strange behavior with out Nobu and Yasu present. Sure that Yasu would go back to work soon enough she thought she only had to wait a little while longer. Now he was going home and leaving her alone again.

"It is where all of _his_ things are. He had me drop them all off this morning." Yasu wanted to make clear that nothing in his apartment belonged to Ren. "He has no more reason to stay with us."

Desperate she leaned forward in her seat to speak to Yasu in the front. "He's been drinking."

"Have not." Ren couldn't help denying it knowing she'd fight back giving him her full attention.

"Liar, I smelt alcohol on you." She blurted with out thinking.

"When?" Ren challenged with a smirk.

"When?" Nana repeated thinking through all of the days events. "When you betrayed me to help Nobu beat me. You picked me up and you reeked." They were both ready to leap across Nobu and jump each other.

"Calm down you two." Nobu held them both by the shoulder afraid of becoming a casualty to their war with lust for the second time in one day.

She didn't let go of it as they were nearing her home. "Ren admit you were drinking, and we can't leave you alone. You'll drink yourself into the grave."

Ren pulled a slip of paper from his front pocket, "I won't be alone. There's a cute blond waiting for my call. I got numbers from all sorts of women today even the red head at the food court but I'm in the mood for blond." He gloated to Nobu's dismay.

"Ren, I wanted the food court girl." His whining earned him pity and Ren gave him the numbers from his back pocket. His cast off pile.

"She's in there some where, I put an r by her name for red or was it f for food? No the girl with the feather earrings was f. It might be a c for court, just call all of them and make up some romantic story of how you met them that's what I always do. Girls like that sort of thing."

Nana scoffed at their conversation. "Girls like the truth, Nobuo. Don't let him fill your head with things that will get you laughed at."

"Oh right, he should call her and say 'my friend didn't feel like calling you tonight so he handed your number off to some one you don't know. So wanna have sex?' I bet that will make her feel really special." He was enjoying the torment she tried to mask with anger.

"No," forgetting where they were she shot back. "I think maybe he should slam her into a wall and rape her into submission. Then when she's given up fighting and starts to feel that there could be some kind of emotion between them he can avoid her. Leave her, just walk away as if she is insignificant and..."

"Enough," Yasu snapped her back in to reality and she took in a shuddering breath. Tears trickled down her cheeks and Ren's fingers twitched needing to wipe them away. "Let's go Nana, we're home."

No one said goodbye or uttered a single word. Yasu paid the driver not looking at anything but Nana step out of the cab. The driver was going to tell him he over paid but his mouth didn't dare open until the door was shut.

"Pretty girl," he said to his remaining passengers.

"Jealous bitch is more like it." Ren sneered not wanting to admit anything to the stranger. "I became famous so she hates me."

"Not from where I'm sitting pal. Her boyfriend didn't seem to see any hate in her towards you either." Glad he had one person to relate to Nobu nodded his agreement but didn't add to the conversation. Ren wasn't going to listen and he didn't want to waste his breath.

"Fiancée. She's marrying that idiot for his money and he still thinks their in love." His hands clenched into fists thinking about her with Yasu made him sick.

"She's marrying him to hurt you. I know women better than you ever will." Tapping the dash where pictures of four girls in their teens to early twenties and an older woman were taped he made his point.

Towel drying her hair, Nana yawned. Yasu hadn't said anything yet. He went straight to his desk to read through documents and write on them. She squashed the urge to throw a pillow at his head for having no reaction.

"Maybe I have to come right out and say it. The implications of my speech were lost on you." He didn't even look up just gave a noise of acknowledgment. "Ren forced me to have sex with him in the dressing room."

"Did he?" His nonchalance had her feet moving before she knew what she was doing. Slapping him across the face she pulled back shocked by her own actions. "That hurt." Anger in his voice Yasu stood, Nana flinched. "I'm not going to hit you back," he sighed removing his glasses. "If you wanted to you could have screamed or made him stop. He's Ren, if he goes too long with out sex he grabs the first woman he sees but he backs off if they want him to."

"So it's my fault! I asked him to rape me?" Shoving him she screamed in his face. "I'm you're fiancée, Yasu not the first woman he saw."

"My fiancée, yes you are and you had sex with Ren while you were supposed to be planning our wedding." Hanging his head in his hands Yasu sat on his bed. He didn't want to hate either of them but they were hurting him. "Why are you doing this to me, Nana?"

"I'm not doing anythi..." She tried to deny it but Yasu cut her words short.

"You're cheating on me with the person I have been taking care of my whole life. I love him like a brother and you come here trying to convince me he raped you. Why do you want me to hate him? I forgave you, both of you and now this." The tears he suppressed stung her and she was filled with rage. She hated herself for giving in so easily to Ren. It wasn't just Yasu she was hurting it was Ren as well. She should know, she had purposely caused Ren heartache and unintentionally hurt Yasu by agreeing to marry Yasu.

Her arms reached out to comfort him but part of her hoped he wouldn't want her anymore. If he slapped her hands away things might be easier. It would mean they could end this charade and she'd be free. That wasn't going to happen though as Yasu sunk to his knees and held her around the waist burying his face in her robe.

"He'll leave you again. I've never known him to love any woman longer than it took for him to cum. Is that what you want to be, one of his many women?" There was a sharp edge to his voice that she was growing used to.

"No one's ever loved me, Yasu. I'm an attention whore because you and him are the only two people who have ever given me anything remotely close to love." Her hatred for herself was bubbling over. She had a chance at love but she chose lust.

"I love you!" His voice was not the least bit loving, despite that the words made her blush. "What do I have to do to prove that to you!"

"Make me feel it, hurt me." Their eyes collided, "do what he does, fuck me," Nana teased expecting Yasu to scoff at the suggestion of roughness. He didn't.

The room spun and she held in a scream. Her head hit the pillow with a loud thud of the headboard coming into contact with the wall. He climbed over her unable to handle the pent up anger anymore. Neither of them spoke but both watched each other intently. She was his and he had an uncontrollable urge to prove that.

Yasu tore her robe from her body revealing her creamy flesh to himself. His hands gripped the inside of her thighs hesitating for a moment.

"Fuck me!" Unbidden her voice pleaded and her hand released his member from the unwanted confines of his pants. In a haste to drive him crazy Nana sat up and kneeled before him. She licked the tip, savoring his taste before sucking him into her mouth.

His groans spurred her on, wanting for once for him to lose control. Maybe then she could forget the brutal touch of Ren. He took hold of her head lost in his pleasure and rammed himself down her throat. She took him all in loving the abuse. He came and pulled out quickly slightly embarrassed by his lack of self-restraint.

Nana didn't let him dwell to long on this. She flipped over on her hands and knees and rubbed against him. The pressure proved too much and he shoved himself inside her.

This was no act of love and they both knew that now. Love had not been part of their relationship for a long time. He owned her. That's all she felt from him. Yasu the sweetest most loving boyfriend had grown up with more money than he could spend. Whatever he wanted he just had to ask for and his parents bought it for him. There was nothing money couldn't buy and Nana felt as if she were no different. He paid for everything and she sat back and let him buy her life.

Tears descended down her face as she caught herself wishing for Ren.

Impaling her over and over like a crazed man Yasu reveled the sensation of her walls clamping around him. She was his and it was imperative she understand that. With a final thrust he came inside of her and all she could think was 'shit!' He hadn't put on a condom, she cursed herself for not going on the pill like Nobu had suggested.

She didn't even have the presence of mind to fake an orgasm for him. Lucky for her his phone rang as if on cue.

Coming to his senses Yasu whispered, "sorry." He didn't know if he was apologizing for the abrupt phone call or for losing his control like that. Just thinking that he might have hurt her crushed him.

"It's okay," doing her best to keep the tears out of her voice Nana feigned exhaustion and hid her face in her pillow. She listened to his phone call long enough to know he'd be leaving again and she'd be alone. Ren may have been cruel and forceful but he never left her cold and lonely after.

"I'm sorry," he repeated kissing her head.

The second she heard the door shut announcing his departure she had her phone in her hand. A voice answered that she vaguely recognized as the blond store clerk.

"I need Ren," irrational and refueled with anger she barked at the bubbly voice.

"Baby you were right, she sounds pissed." Nana ground her teeth hearing the amused laugh Ren let out before he came on the phone.

"Is there something I can help you with, I'm a little busy. About to tie some one up." She imagined him winking at the clerk.

There was no time to argue she needed him now. "Send her home I'm coming over."

Ren took a breath intending to be good and say no. This situation wasn't healthy for the three of them and they'd all end up losing. Telling her no was the only option that made any sense.

"Please," it amazed him how one little word could break his resolve so completely.

Releasing his breath, "fine."

Ren hung up his phone and turned to the blond, her name escaped him. She was just something to pass the time and she had made good on her promise of fun. The heroin she brought wasn't the top quality he was used to, he could tell by just looking at it. But it would have gotten the job done.

"Get out," his harsh tone startled her from her happy atmosphere. The lines she had been making on his table scattered when she jumped up ready to protest. "Take your drugs and go." He cut off her arguments wanting to be rid of her.

"Fine!" The nameless girl did her best to take all of her drugs with her, making sure to leave nothing for him. "Have fun with the woman who will never belong to you."

**_A/N Sometimes I wonder why I write sex scenes, it feels awkward to me. Some times when I'm reading or watching tv I roll my eyes and skip the sex scenes. I don't understand the point of showing all the nudity or the act itself. But I admit sometimes they can be more insightful into a character than the rest of the chapter. Maybe I just watch too much HBO my god it's like soft core porn on that channel. The scene between Yasu and Nana wasn't really meant for this story it was a pwp that I modified to suit the story I still might post it as a series of one shots that I wrote that are not Nana/Ren. Maybe not though because I love them too much to dwell on possible scenarios with out them. Ren/Yasu, Ren/Reira- fan girls would kill me, Ren/Takumi, Nana/Hachi, Nana/Yasu, yeah maybe. **


	14. Monster

_**Warning I updated twice today so if you're missing something go back a chapter. **_

**Hello again. I'm back, my internet is down, if it weren't for my phone I'd be lost and unable to write and post. This was supposed to be part of last chapter but I felt it was too long. **

**Oana A: sorry it took so long. Look two chapters! Yes I will update Dearest Helpless, Soon. I'll go finish typing that chapter right now in fact. **

**Everyone: enjoy please. **

"Fuck me!"

"No!"

"Ren, fuck me now!"

"No!"

It was a senseless shouting match that neither of them wanted to end. Upon arriving Nana had jumped in his shower and washed away the sweat and bodily fluids Yasu had left behind. She would have taken a shower at their place but Ren's felt so much more like home. It was spacious and smelled like Ren.

"Why not," she whined her voice cracking from the strain of yelling so much.

Choosing not to answer he lit a cigarette and took a long drag. The heroin he'd missed out on was making him ache. Why not do what she wanted and lose himself in her? His mind wandered to the many painful things he had yet to pleasure her with. There she was in a thin towel combing her hair out on his bed. It would be so easy and feel more right than anything ever had in his entire life. She was meant to be his. All he had to do was get up from his chair and take three steps to her.

"Ren, did I do something wrong?" Fear stricken eyes pleaded with him for an answer.

A broken record all Ren could say was, "no."

"Give me one," she snatched the cigarettes from his hands. "I'm no good. You couldn't finish earlier. I must have done something wrong." She smoked looking down at her feet. When his came into view beside hers she quivered in fear of the possibilities. He could lift her up again and take her against another wall.

"You're my best friend," he sighed taking the spot next to her.

"What?" She dropped her cigarette butt in his ash tray and took another from his pack.

"That's how I knew the dress was perfect for you and that's why I had to stop. I attacked my best friend to sate my own urges." Contrite he took her hands. "I hurt the most important person in my life and when I realized that, that was what you were I needed to get out. I'm sorry I made you feel as if you had done something wrong."

Silence reigned over them for a moment as she waited for him to say more.

"I thought Yasu was your best friend?" She didn't want to be his friend. The urge to whine like a child was strong but she realized that Ren would not give in to that. It was a behavior she had picked up from Yasu, to get her way.

"You and I have this connection, we think alike, speak the same way and we have lead very similar lives. No one will ever understand what it's like to be me better than you. And I'm the only one who feels your pain as if it were my own. Ha," he chuckled kissing her fingers. "I don't want to hurt you anymore, Nana. And I'm not staying here." She cried at the memory of living with out him. All those months not speaking to him made her want to die. Wiping her eyes he whispered, "don't cry, sweetheart." Kissing her lips he leaned her back until she was lying beneath him. He quieted her fears and soothed the guilt away with tender kisses.

Her hands slipped into his shirt and pushed it up, taking the hint he lifted his arms and took it off. Their hands clasped in the air and fluttered to the mattress together. That was as far as he let it go. He stilled her attempts to further undress him and held her hips down with his so she couldn't move them.

"I have this terrible addiction, Nana and I'd be no good to you in my condition. But I wanna be there for you when you need me. More than that, I want you to need me more than anything else." He spoke against her lips staring into her heavy lidded eyes.

"What if I helped you quit drinking? I could spend my time checking you for alcohol. Please, Ren, I don't care if you hurt me. I'd rather feel your pain than nothing." Kissing the corner of her mouth he pictured her waiting for him to come home night after night. With all his obligations she might have to wait for days and months just to receive a phone call from him.

"You'll hate me," he didn't even want to think about what would happen when she figured out it wasn't alcohol he was addicted to. When she would try to flush his heroin like Reira had, he was afraid he'd go mad and hurt her worse than he had Reira. And she'd threaten to leave if he didn't quit, he knew it. That would only make him angry.

"Please, I'll be lonely here. " How could he ever hope to deny her anything when she looked at him like that? Her warm eyes pleading for him to take her away. Still his brain, Yasu's voice in his mind told him leaving her was the right thing.

They said no more and soon she drifted to sleep in his arms. Not tired Ren contented himself by skimming his fingers over the features of her face. Running the back of his hand up her cheek and into her hair. Drawing his hand down her nose to her lips which parted at his light touch.

When the sun peaked through the curtains he got up and dressed himself. It was time for him to stop this game. He had work to do and Nana had a life he would only ruin if he staid.

She felt him go. It was more than the bed losing his weight, it was like he was taking a piece of her away. There was the sound of a pen scribbling on paper before it fell to the table then his footsteps. A lingering kiss to her cheek was followed by one on her forehead and nose before he met her lips unable to stop himself. Tingling lips molded to his eager to draw him back into bed.

Pulling away before he lost himself to her seduction he cupped her face. "You're so beautiful," soft whispers sent shivers down her spine. "I'll call you whenever I need help fighting my addiction and you can call me when you get lonely." Cold steal pressed into her palm, "if you're really lonely you can stay here."

Nana didn't watch him go. She felt him leave, every step he took echoed her hearts pounding. Slow agonizing steps away from her ripping her apart. The metal in her hand was the only thing holding her together. A stitch of hope in the pathetic future she had chosen for herself. The gentle shut of the door sounded more like an angry slam. She pulled the blankets around herself and inhaled. His scent draped her in warmth and for a while she indulged herself in the feeling of being whole.

The time came that she had to get up and go. She had prolonged her peace for as long as she could and rose from bed noticing for the first time that some time during her slumber Ren had dressed her. A blush colored her body seeing the long night dress that was mostly sheer and all red, it gave off the illusion of being see through but still hid everything.

Her pink cheeks darkened reading the paper he had scribbled on. 'Gifts from a friend.' And below that was his number, 'for when you need me.' A bag of more clothes sat by the note. This strange new friendship could work for her. On cloud nine Nana pulled out an outfit and noted how it matched what he had left wearing. Torn jeans and a white shirt with english writing on it.

"Friends? Well as long as we have mutual benefits I can live with being friends." She couldn't let go now that she'd had a taste of him. If he thought he had an addiction than she had something much worse. A deep consuming obsession.

**AN: I've been staying with my sister most nights and have been neglecting you amazing people. She's pregnant and due next month, the doctors say she's finally hit the okay to give birth mark, but the baby's been trying to come for weeks now. My sister went into labor and they had to stop it because she was too underdeveloped. :( hopefully everything will be ok now that the doctor has giving the ok. I'll write more for you soon. **


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